Inspired Aureros
by Aiatalay
Summary: Based off a long boring day and a fic of a similar name by DeeLaundry. Crack!Fic from a Crack!Fic author. The plot is simple: What if House trades places with his rat? Finished as much as an abandoned plot bunny can be.


**Inspired Arureos**

**Based off a long boring day and a fic of a similar name by DeeLaundry. I hope she doesn't mind.**

Wilson woke up one morning and went to work. But House didn't join him. Wilson went through his whole day, and didn't see House once. This was unusual. House would be late or hide, but never from Wilson, unless they had been fighting. Wilson and House were not fighting.

Wilson hypothesized that House might have been sick, and went home early. And that is when the trouble started. When Wilson opened the door, he found House and Steve at the table. Wilson put his hands on his hips.

"House, why did you skip off work today? I thought you had a patient."

House looked up at him, an awkward look on his face, and then looked at his rat. Tuco poked his head up from behind the napkin holder, saw Wilson, and dropped back down. Something in the tightness of House's body exuded desperation. Wilson sat down at the table, next to House.

"Hey, are you okay? Did you skip because you felt sick?"

House let out a sigh when Wilson put a hand on his back and put his hand on his crossed forearms. Steve came over to Wilson and started pawing insistently at Wilson's fingers. Wilson obliged and petted Steve with his right hand, keeping his left on House.

Wilson was momentarily distracted with Steve, but when House didn't make any other noise, much less say anything, Wilson turned back to him.

"House?" he asked, concern edging into his tone. House tilted his head, a sad, open expression on his face. Blue eyes regarded him.

"I'm not... House," he said, quite deliberately. Wilson frowned.

"What?"

"I am not House. Although, I call him Fuzzy. You humans have odd naming conventions."

Wilson started laughing, saying, "Oh, now I get it. You skipped work so that you could try and convince me that you've been replaced by aliens or something."

"I'm not joking about this, Pudge. I am not your House. I am actually Chirp, and your House is in my body. We seem to have switched." Wilson wasn't sure whether to get angry or to continue playing along.

"Wait, what?"

House picked up Steve. "I am supposed to be here," he said, while Steve rolled out of House's hand and back over to Wilson's warm fingers, "And he is supposed to be here," House put his hand on his head.

Wilson stared.

"Right, and you expect me to believe you've switched places with your rat. Rather original, House, I'll give you that, but it's not possible, so don't try your latest prank on me. I'm going to get dinner started," Wilson started sarcastic, but by the end he was just irritated. House could just tell him when there was a TV marathon and he wanted to skive off work.

"Are you going to make broccoli with that brown sauce?" House asked suddenly, and Tuco looked out from behind the napkin holder again. Wilson paused near the refrigerator. Steve sat on the table near House's hand, impassive, but House and Tuco had the 'broccoli floret with soy sauce' expression on. Wilson didn't usually see that expression on House at this time of day, because it was his 'macadamia nut pancake' expression. Actually, House didn't like the soy sauce that much. It was okay, but he could live without it. The rats always seemed to disagree, but now...

"Uh, maybe... I was planning on chicken, but I can make that too if you want."

Wilson turned around slowly. This was getting a little weird, but perhaps it was just House not knowing how to stop. He looked down at himself while he contemplated the fridge. He wasn't that out of shape, why would House call him Pudge?

He shook his head and pulled out some chicken breasts and broccoli. The broccoli was for something else tomorrow, but he could always get more. Wilson went over to the counter and started preparing food, and was taken a little off guard to turn around and find House still sitting at the table, staring at him.

"You don't believe me."

Wilson sighed.

"Of course I don't believe you, House, people don't turn into rats."


End file.
